I went for a haircut last night, and when my stylist asked what was going on in my life, I of course told her that I was pregnant. Actually, she asked what was going on and then immediately asked if I was pregnant. She said I laid my hands on my stomach when she was shampooing my hair and that was her clue. She says all pregnant women do that. Who knew?
Anyway, she went on to ask the usual questions. How far along was I? Was I sick during the first trimester? Was John excited? Did we know what we were having? Did we have names picked out?
When we got to the name question, I felt like a jerk, telling her we weren't sharing the name, or even the names we have in mind. I mean, it's totally appropriate to ask a pregnant woman what she's planning to name her child, I think. At least, I always ask. But then someone asks me, and I'm all, "Nope, not telling."
We've chosen not to share for a number of reasons, and not just because we think someone is going to go and get pregnant, have a baby, and steal our name before we can give it to our own little one. (And when I say we and our, I really mean I and my, because to be perfectly honest, John doesn't really worry about these types of things.) So when my hair-stylist asked what names we liked, I told her I wasn't going to tell, and then I told her why.
1. To avoid objections. I've heard stories of friends sharing their baby names with parents, in-laws, co-workers, etc., and getting reactions like, "Are you joking?" and "That baby is going to hate you." I'm hoping that if we wait to announce the name until after the baby is born, when it's all official and everything, we'll minimize reactions like these.
2. Just in case we change our minds. I don't want to create any expectations. I don't want someone to purchse embroidered burpcloths or monogrammed onesies. Because I have enough trouble just picking out which brand of soap to buy, choosing a name for our baby will be no easy task, and I want the full forty weeks to make that decision.
3. The element of surprise. I did consider choosing not to know the sex. For like, an hour. And then I realized, who was I kidding? I'd have to know. Still, I do like surprises, and even if I won't necessarily be surprised by the name, won't it be exciting for everyone else?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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12 comments:
It is ultimately your decision. I would love to know what you have planned, but I'm sure we can all wait until you have your little one! :)
Are you going to tell us the sex once you find out?
Can't wait to hear. I've told a few people what names I have picked out, but only people who aren't having anymore kids, because unlike you... my main reason is... I do NOT want anyone taking my name. Haha.
I'm with you on this one. My husband and I have decided not to share (well the girls name since the boys name is set after his dad) There have been a few times when I told my mom or dad and a name and they made a face and said they didn't like it...but what if it was the name I wanted? How can I choose a name they hate? So from then on I swore I wouldn't tell!
I'm not sure if I'll share anymore cause we already have gotten weird reactions from some family and have changed our name ideas, haha! I may ask for some suggestions since I'm not SOLD on the same yet. But I think you should tell me. Really, you have to tell SOMEONE and I won't tell! :)
My thoughts exactly! We decided that we want to keep the name between us, so that's what we're doing. Most people seem to understand that!
I've totally regretted telling the name of our daughter! For objection reasons and also I'm starting to waver on whether or not it was the PERFECT choice for her. My next one, I don't plan on telling the name AT ALL!
I'm not pregnant, but I already think of names I would like to name our future babies. I hate when I really like a name and tell someone about it, and have them react poorly. It's such a bubble buster. If you can stand not telling people, I totally agree with that.
I just had a coworker ask me today if we had any names picked out. I told her, and she gave all the appropriate responsese (that's nice, I like that one, etc...)
Now that I think about it, though, I think I might hold off on sharing our names. You're right - what if we change our mind or get a negative reaction? I'm particularly worried about someone telling me a horror story about someone they know with the same name that's a terrible person, ax murdered, etc...
I hope most people are understanding of your choice!
I think you're right not to tell :) My sister and her partner were driven crazy by everyone's objections to their possible baby names, and in the end they refused to tell anyone anything until they'd settled on one.
I agree with you, Marmot and I have decided to do the same thing. During pregnancy with hormones at an all-time high, the last thing you need is someone being snarky about your names!
I found your blog through another blog and LOVE it! I couldn't agree with you more. I feel the same way...if it ever happens for us...and for all the same reasons you said!
Nobody cares. That's the thing. It's a big deal to you, but the rest of the world asks to be polite but doesn't care. But hey that's me. I', the type that if my inlaws hate it..It seals it for me.
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