Skip Ahead One Week (Nine Weeks & Three Days)

We went for my monthly appointment today, hoping to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. When I went two weeks ago, I was able to see the heartbeat and it was the most incredible moment of my life. They told me then that I was 6 weeks and 4 days, so that would have put me at 8 weeks and 4 days today. 

When we couldn't locate the heartbeat with a doppler machine, my OB ordered an ultrasound. She's pretty great like that. So not only did we hear the heartbeat, we saw it too. And we saw how much our little bean has grown. I think the babe is about the size of a grape now, and the heart is beating at 178 beats per minute.

Also, I'm now measuring at 9 weeks and 3 days, which is consistent with the due date I expected originally, and one week ahead of where we were measuring before. It seems I'm one week closer to my second trimester and one week closer to meeting our little one. 

New due date: 7/2/10

Grampap and Grandma

With the holidays upon us, I'm thinking of all that I have to be thankful for. Like my parents, who are amazing, and have always provided constant love, support, and encouragement. I actually told them when we decided to throw away the birth control, and so they have been on this journey with my husband and I from the very beginning.

My mom went with me to my first OB appointment to discuss infertility. She was there when I lost it in the bathroom at TJMaxx, after I started my period. Again. And last week, she passed me tissues as we watched my baby's heart beating.

In September, on the day my husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary, I received this message from my dad. This was before the successful round of Clomid. Before the pregnancy. Before my dad knew he was going to be a grampap.

Dear Jo,

As your biggest fan, it saddens me to see that your hope is deferred and your heart, well it’s a little sick (just finished reading your blog). I wish I could fix it – I would. I wish I could buy it – I would. I wish. I wish, I HOPE. I ask God and keep on asking. I cry. I love you.

Dad.

PS: Happy anniversary. I want you to know I think very highly of your John and have come to love him as my own son.

Like I said, my parents are amazing. And they're going to make great grandparents.

Dad, Mom, I love you both. And I am so thankful for you.

I DIE.

Anthropologie is one of my favorite stores. Everyone knows it, and so I recently found myself shopping there with $400 in gift cards, collected over a period of twelve months. The closest Anthropologie is over an hour away, so I don't make it there often, and it's quite expensive, so I don't usually buy much. But you can imagine, I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman with my bundle of gift cards. Like, I'll take one of those, and one of those, and one of these. Didn't offer to help when I first walked in the store? Big mistake! BIG! HUGE! (No, really they were friendly and helpful.)

I spent most of the money on new dishes, plates, bowls, and mugs. We also bought an assortment of knobs for our kitchen cabinets (JUST SAW THIS ONE, ORDERING IT NOW) and of course I had to spend a little on myself, so I bought a pair of shoes.

Anyway, I'm just now checking out their kids section online, and, in the words of Rachel Zoe, I DIE. DIE!!!!!!!

I should know the sex of my baby in February, and I'm hoping these items are still around and maybe even on sale. Because if I have a little girl, I just can't live without these:



And for a little boy:



DIE! These clothes are BANANAS! My little one will be SHUTTING IT DOWN.

PS: If you don't know who Rachel Zoe is, you're not watching enough Bravo.

7 Weeks

My little one is now the size of a blueberry.

As for me, I'm feeling good. Nauseated, but good. Most of the time, I just feel a little queasy. Sometimes eating helps, but most foods have lost their appeal. I am less repulsed by carbohydrates and salt, so I find myself eating crackers, cereal and bread.

I've been avoiding caffeine and artificial sweeteners, although I did have a small glass of caffeine-free diet soda yesterday. My OB told me that caffeine and artificial sweeteners are okay in moderation, but I don't intend to make a habit of either.

I've eaten deli meat twice without heating it first, and then felt very guilty and fearful when I realized what I had done. I told John about it, so when we were at a party last week, he questioned everything I put in my mouth: "Was that ham heated?" "Can you eat that chicken dip?" "That punch isn't spiked, is it?!"

Well, it wasn't until I added a flask of vodka, dear.

Truth is, alcohol is something I can easily avoid and don't miss at all. Now, cookie dough? That, I'll miss. But I'd give it up forever for a healthy baby.

My Little Bean is Growing

11/2/09, approximately four weeks:

11/16/09, approximately six weeks:

It was love at first sight. 

All for Wallpaper

Immediately after learning we were pregnant, we began to debate the sex of our little one. My husband refers to him and I refer to her. He talks about what we'll name him and I'm thinking of names for her. He's imagining the sports he'll play, and I'm shopping for dresses and headbands for her.

For one whole day, I actually considered not finding out - telling the doctor we don't want to know the sex of our baby. Because it doesn't matter, really. Boy or girl, we just want a healthy little one. And think how exciting the birth would be. The baby would pop out and I'd be all, "TELL ME, BOY OR GIRL?!?!"

So I thought, for just one day, that maybe we'd keep the sex a mystery.

And then I started looking for wallpaper.

As I've mentioned before, I plan to wallpaper one wall of the nursery, and paint the remaining three walls a complementary color. I'd like to decorate in blues and reds and oranges, for boy or girl, and I've already picked out this design from Romo Wallcoverings for a little girl. But I thought I should also look for something gender-neutral, that day that I lost my mind.

I found two that I like, this yellow one from Thibaut, and this green one from Ferm Living.

There are two problems these options though. First, our kitchen and living room are already green and yellow. Our bedroom is green and yellow. Our towels are green and yellow. We have enough green and yellow. Also, coincidentally, neither of these are blue, red, or orange. And anything I found that was blue, red or orange, was not gender-neutral. Like this one, also from Ferm Living, which would definitely suit a little boy.

After my unsuccessful attempts to find the perfect gender-neutral wallpaper, I realized it was hopeless, I will just have to know the sex of my baby.