Hello there Period. I hate you.

For the past six months, you have told me repeatedly that I'm not pregnant. As if that weren't enough, you can't even manage to make this announcement on a regular schedule. You make me wait 57 days, then 31 days -- and this month you made me wait FORTY-THREE DAYS.

i love little things

I've inherited a love for little things from my mom. She loves all things little, and has shelves of little bottles and trinkets that she's collected. I've always appreciated little things, but I've just recently discovered that I too find delight in the smaller versions of everyday items. Like little shoes.

BabyLegs

God, you're going to bless me with at least one little girl, right? I mean, I REALLY want to go ahead and buy a couple of these BabyLegs -- baby legwarmers. With clothes this cute, I must have a daughter.

There are these for boys too. Although I think these are really gender neutral. But the black/white combo reminds me of a pirate. So cute I can barely stand it.

smoking and drinking

When we first started this journey to mommyland, I quit artificial sweetener and caffeine, started buying organic foods and threw out all skincare products that contained any ingredients I couldn't pronounce -- because -- I was going to be pregnant the first time we had sex off the pill, and those pesticides and preservatives and parabens would penetrate my skin and travel through my blood stream right to the baby, and that innocent little creature inside my uterus would be harmed by those evil chemicals!!!

After month 1, I started drinking diet soda again. After month 3, I stopped worrying about my skincare products. After month 5, I stopped worrying about eating all organic. When I finally get pregnant, I'll be smoking and drinking. And speaking of drinking, I remember feeling guilty for dipping my communion bread in the wine at church (this was month one, of course). Seems quite silly now.

Actually, one of my good friends had an "oops" baby and proceeded to party hard two weekends in a row after conception, before realizing she was pregnant. The doctor assured her that the baby would not have three eyeballs, and that a glass of wine probably wouldn't hurt her, although she'd never recommend drinking alcohol. Of course, my friend had more than a glass of wine before she knew she was pregnant, but that's not really the point. The point is that a small glass of wine may be harmless. Still, I probably will avoid alcohol, but what about a cherry coke zero every once in a while?

My sister-in-law gave up diet coke, caffeine, soft cheeses and most seafoods when pregnant. Now she's breastfeeding, so she still avoids artificial sweetener and caffeine. Another pregnant friend (again, all friends are pregnant) still drinks diet soda and I've seen her eat feta without batting an eyelash. She's on healthy baby #3.

All of that to say, when I'm pregnant, I should probably live in a bubble, drinking water and eating bread (bread's okay, right?) or carry on as usual. I just wonder, what's the point of using that smelly all-natural face wash if I'm going to have a diet soda every once in a while? I'm not sure how I'll feel about all of this when I really am pregnant (I'll let you know) -- it's just something I think about.

the secret is out

I always said I'd wait until the second trimester to announce my pregnancy, but I can't even wait until I'm pregnant to announce that we're TRYING. Of course I told my parents first, and then we told my mother-in-law and now all of our close friends know too. And the sorta-close friends. And that couple we met that one time at that one party.

This weekend, we were out of town for a cousin's wedding and we saw lots of family. As the new aunt and uncle, the husband and I got lots of questions about when we'll be starting a family. One awkward conversation went something like this:

Uncle: "So, when will you all start bringing some babies into this world?"

Me: "We're working on it."

Cousin: "Should we ask [the husband] this question? Is he not ready for babies?"

Me: "No, we're ready."

{Awkward pause}

Cousin: "Oh, so you're working on it!!"

Me: "Uh, yes."

{Uncle abruptly walks away}

Well Uncle, don't ask if you don't want to know.

The point of my story is that our secret has now been exposed to a number of cousins, aunts and uncles. I'm sure this new juicy bit of gossip will slowly trickle down through the family tree so that when we are finally pregnant one day, it will come as a surprise to no one. I may regret it later, but right now, I'm okay with that. Nothing I can do about it now anyway, right?