It's been a rough few months. TTC has been an emotional rollercoaster and I HATE rollercoasters. I'm that girl who holds your sandals and backpack while you scream your head off, flipping upside down and around and around at ridiculous speeds. TTC is a bit like that, the highs and lows of the sex, the waiting, the hope and the let-down. And like ours, yours might be a secret ride, and so you must smile and laugh when asked if you'll be having kids soon. "Maybe one day!" I say, and my heart breaks.
When I first started this blog, I had no intention of sharing my real identity. I never thought anyone would read this, except for maybe my husband and my mom. This was going to be my private and anonymous journal, for recording my thoughts and our progress on this road to parenthood. For collecting pictures of baby clothes, and ideas for decorating the nursery. For keeping track of our growing baby name list, and my irregular period. For giving in to my obsession with having a child, without the fear of being rebuked or ridiculed in real life. Because I was just "Jane" to the Internet world.
Along the way, I created a Twitter profile and started to connect with other women TTC, mommies, and various sources for fertility and pregnancy news, including Conceive. When three bloggers for Conceive became pregnant, I joked about becoming a blogger for them too, for the good luck. But they saw my tweet and asked if I was really interested. REALLY? ME? Why not? So this week, I actually became a blogger for Conceive. As in, I, Johanna Rose, am openly sharing my journey to mommyland, and connecting with other women on the same journey. And I find myself, once again, excited about TTC.
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